I attended the funeral of a customer yesterday. It is never an easy thing to do.
I would say friend but that is a term I save for those closest to me. I knew him well but in a business sense. He did a great job segregating his life and this fit my personality well. Today I’m left with the specter of this and will never get a chance to see the other side of him first hand.
Normally I change names to protect the innocent. I’m not doing this today in his honor and memory.
9 observations from a funeral
1) Mitch had many friends
I was stunned by how many people came to say goodbye. I can only hope that when it is my turn I am so lucky.
2) I knew so little about him
Mitch and I knew each other pretty well. What I found amazing was hearing the stories told by family and friends. As well as I knew him it only scratched the surface.
3) 80% of what was said about him was work related
Mitch led a full life but it shocked me how much of it was work related.
4) He was deeply devoted to his family
Story after story were told about how he was such a generous uncle/father/brother/son/husband. He deeply touched so many people and left his mark on this world.
5) His death could have been avoided
Mitch never exercised and love to eat well. Contributing to his health problems was his work and lifestyle. For almost 30 years Mitch worked behind a desk or eating with a customer.
6) No mother should bury her son.
7) Jack had a hole in his jacket
My mind latched onto this minor point as an attempt to escape the pain and sorrow. It is amazing how hard our mind will work to avoid pain.
8) His sister asked us to celebrate his life and not mourn his death
I want to be remembered for the things I did and accomplished. I want to be remembered for my good heart. I want my family to remember me for being a good husband and father.
9) Funerals are for the survivors
Mitch is dead and gone. I know he would have preferred a bunch of smaller gatherings filled with good wine, great food, and his close friends and family.
But that isn’t what his friends and family needed. They needed closure and a chance to say goodbye.
What I learned
- To love my family deeply
- To balance my life
- To create deep friendships
- To be as healthy as I can
- To live each day fully
- To get to know my customers even better