The other day a neighbor gave us a backhanded complement.
You are so lucky that your children are well behaved
This drives me nuts as chance has nothing to do with their behavior. It is the decade and a half of parenting that created polite/well adjusted children. It is simple though sometimes not easy. We set boundaries and expectations. When these are violated there are consequences. This is done is a loving manner and is wildly effective.
I hear this in other areas of my life as well. You are so lucky to have such a great customer base. You are so luck to have such a great family. You are so lucky to be in such good shape. I can’t believe you always get lucky and beat me at racquetball.
The key thing that these people don’t understand is that my luck has nothing to do with chance.
Wise advise from a mentor
Years ago I got some strange advice from a friend. Ironically I had just told him that I envied his luck (he had just landed a sweet promotion). “Brandt, you make your own luck. Remember, luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”
Since then I have heard this mantra from almost every productivity/self-help guru. It has been a keystone to my sucess. I truely believe it is a basic fact of life.
A (not so) secret to my success
It isn’t just parenting that I’ve applied this concept. I try and do it in all aspects of my life.
In sales I quickly evaluate the customer and determine if we are a good fit. If we are I make deep connections at all levels of the company. I help them develop their projects. I earn their business months before a purchase is made. I follow up and make sure projects stay on track.
I’m healthy and in good shape because I take steps every day to ensure this. I exercise daily. I eat a healthy diet (though I’m a bit addicted to ice cream). I do my best to rest and relax on a regular basis. I have a plan to continually improve my fitness level.
In racquetball I have gone from being a novice to being a sponsored “B” player who won third in nationals this year. I evaluate my game and determine where I need improvements. I practice several times a week and focus on improving one area at a time.
Yep. It’s luck!
There is a strong genetic component to child behavior as well:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/151758
I’m still trying to figure out if free will really exists, since some experiments seem to indicate that people are a lot less “free” from acting on impulses than they think:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/science/02free.html
@BW-I think there is some truth to the genetic side but think many of the behaviour problems are due to lack of bourndaries or consequences. The genetic side makes it easier with some kids, but is often used as justification for poor behaviour.
@Al – You make your own luck in life. Luck is nothing more than preparation meeting opportunity:
It sounds like you take great pride in being able to overcome adversity. I’ve done the same thing myself, but have found that there is an easier way. Instead of trying to always be fighting life, I have started letting life bring good things my way.