Ok, maybe the title was a bit over the top. That doesn’t detract from the truth, it doesn’t make it less valid, and it doesn’t lessen the importance of this basic personal development truth:
You need to take responsibility for your life.
Everything that happens to you, good and bad, can be traced back to your choices.
Sometimes this is obvious. My boss says something I don’t like so I punch him in the face. The result…I get fired (and maybe spend some quality time in the county lockup).
Other times it is more subtle. For example, you have a coworker that is usually late in turning in their part of a project. Do you confront them? Do you (professionally) say anything to them at the beginning of the project? Most people just let it slide to avoid the conflict. Guess what, your inaction is a choice that affects the outcome.
Your point is well taken. We create our own reality by the things that we say, do and allow to happen. Sometimes it’s our willful actions, and sometimes it’s our neglect. Here are a couple of sayings that I live by:
– we teach people how to treat us
– we get what we deserve
– we are taken advantage of to the extent that we allow it
These are all truisms that have exceptions, of course, but they are good rules to live by because 99% of the time they are true. We just need to have a little hindsight to see how current events were influenced and set in motion by previous events and choices.
Even automobile accidents that “legally” aren’t your fault can be avoided if we practiced expecting the unexpected and looking for trouble where we wouldn’t normally look. So, an accident that someone else causes is still “all your fault” because you did nothing out of the ordinary to avoid it or defend against it.
We’re too accustomed to dodging responsibility and considering ourselves to be victims of circumstances. It’s just not the pathway to success.
Success in anything requires being on the ball and looking for opportunities for errors and that 1% that can derail us. Sometimes the 1% is unavoidable, but most of the time things come back to us full circle – we reap what we have sown.
In our current housing mess, many would like to blame the government for loose lending practices, but the real culprit is the one that signed the contract for the loan.
Clair
@Clair Schwan-You’ve got it nailed. Life and events do affect our outcome but this is only part of the equation. Our response is much more important, and we can only control our thoughts, our decisions, and our attitude.
This is an easy success principal to learn on the surface but it is hard to completely eliminate all blame (if you are blaming you are not taking responsibility). It’s also hard to eliminate inaction-choosing not to make a choice.
Applying the first level of personal responsibility and you are on your way to being in the top 20%. Take it a step further and you hit the top 4%. Another step and you hit the top 1%.
This is only part of what is needed to succeed, but it is almost impossible to really apply any other success principals until you take control of your life.
@Andy-I couldn’t agree more. It doesn’t do you any good to bury your head in the sand, but you also shouldn’t dwell on your past shortcomings. Identify what you did well, where you could improve, take the lessons to heart, becoming a better – and more effective – person.